I like the first two stanzas, chiefly because they are simple and say what I want to say, but after that I feel like I tried too hard to say more and don't say what I want to say, plus I am looking for one more stanza to end it with while getting rid of one or two or three of the stanzas I already have. I wanted to end it on more of a triumphant note. Something having to do with the redemption of time, see
A Romance to Remember by John Mark Reynolds, or
The Great Divorce, in which Lewis says it so well through the mouth of MacDonald:
'Son,' he said, 'ye cannot in your present state understand eternity: when Anodos looked through the door of the Timeless, he brought no message back. But ye can get some like-ness of it if ye say that both good and evil, when they are fully grown, are retrospective. Not only this valley but all this earthly past will have been Heaven to those who are saved. Not only the twilight in that town, but all their life on earth too, will then be seen by the damned to have been Hell. That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, "No future bliss can make up for it," not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory. And of some sinful pleasure they say "Let me but have this and I'll" take the consequences"; little dreaming how damnation will spread back and back into their past and contaminate the pleasure of sin. both processes begin even before death. The good man's past begins to change so that his forgiven sins and remembered sorrows take on the quality of Heaven: the bad man's past already conforms to his badness and is filled only with dreariness. And that is why, at the end of all things, when the sun rises here and the twilight turns to blackness down there, the Blessed will say, "We have never lived anywhere except Heaven," and the Lost, "We were always in Hell." And both will speak truly.'
Sorry that it's so long, but the whole quote is necessary. The "was" IS in the end, or the end that IS classifies the "was"...or perhaps a better way to put it is, "the end characterizes your life here and now, since all that happens here has the end as the consequent." You cannot count the damned man really happy here when all that is here leads to Hell, away from ultimate happiness, you can only count his indulgence serious loss. There is a better way to put it and I think that both Boethius and Aquinas have a lot to contribute to this discussion...but I better post this or else I will think about it till I forget. All this to say: I had this idea in my head when writing the poem; I want to work this point into it; but I do not know how to accomplish this.
8 We have had such times that steal us,
6 that keep us till we're old,
6 and hold us in our youth,
6 and wait to be retold.
8 We have had such times that bleed us,
6 till life becomes a cry,
8 and hopeful longings go before us
6 all wanting us to die.
8 We have had such times that judge us,
6 that weigh our many sins,
8 and hold a witness against us—
6 our chains that we march in.
8 We have had such times that strip us
6 that lay bare our lamed souls
8 and make a show/sport of our despairs
8 and bade to the bellowing woes.
8 We have had such times that jade us
6 that take our tender thoughts
8 and make us shame sincerity
6 till twist’d in sinful knots
8 We have had such times that free us,
6 that break our fearful bonds,
8 and carry over witless crags,
6 our souls to seize the dawns.
